11 posts tagged “grrr!!!”

I found one of my old diaries while I was cleaning my room. That diary contained mostly what happened during my first year in college. Some are good, some are bad, some are enraging...

I told Dan that I wanted to get even with the people who bullied us in school, since a lot of them thought of us as unpopular nerds. Dan said being bitter is a waste of time and plotting revenge would be like fighting pieces of trash.

He said that some of those who bullied us are now in much worse situations. One of them is now a drug addict, two or three of them got impregnated during college, some of them became mere salespeople.

I guess he has a point. Even if we served as laughing stock during those days, we should also be thankful that we did not end up like them.

September 26 ... It was the fourth time I experienced serious palpitations. The first three were probably triggered by drinking too much coffee-vanilla. The latest was caused by the argument I had with my boyfriend during Ondoy [link to "Perfect Storm"].

October 2 ... I went to Medical City (SM Fairview) to have my heart checked up. The cardiologist suspected a lot of causes (kidney, thyroid, lungs, blood, heart, caffeine intake and anxiety attacks). It was the beginning of a series of  other check ups.

October 11 ... I skipped work again because I had a 2D-ECHO scheduled. This was my first time taking that lab test and I almost freaked out when my heart made some weird noises! LoL! I also had a blood sample taken, an X-Ray and ECG.

October 16 ... I had rhinitis and I could barely breathe through my nose. This was probably caused by the unpredictable weather conditions. I went to the clinic three times. Despite that, the company nurse refused to send me home early and my supervisor cannot do anything about it. It was one of the most irritating times of my life.

October 17 ... I skipped work again and went back to Medical City. By this time, I've already recognized the nurses and they too have become familiar with me. The ENT doctor gave me 1 day of bed rest. I met up with Jeiro to lend her my red wig. I was also happy when I told her that I can go to EK the next day!!! I also told Dada about it. He was against it at first but we settled it. I really love him! ♥

October 18 ... I woke up and my rhinitis is gone --- so was my voice! That didn't prevent me from going to the Enchanted Kingdom though! Even without a voice, I can still have fun! [link to "OtakonEK 2009"]

October 19 ... I skipped work again to meet up with the cardiologist. All tests indicated that I am very healthy - especially my heart. She wanted me to take Pulmonary tests but I cannot afford anymore time on it unless I file a long medical leave. The bills also amounted to P15k (that's about 315 US dollars) so I am very thankful because we have MediCard (HMO). I just concluded that it might be my anxieties causing everything.

October 21-24 ... I was absent the whole week because my voice has not fully recovered. I went back to the ENT and he diagnosed that it's an acute laryngitis. The Operations Manager then asked for a "Fit-to-work" certificate. I never filed any.

November 7 ... My sleeping problems has taken its toll. While I was taking a nap, I experienced "Sleep Paralysis" and it was one of the most terrifying things that happened to me. It wasn't just because I couldn't move nor talk during that ordeal, I was also having auditory hallucinations. I was really scared! I am very grateful to my boyfriend because he was the one who woke me up. If he wasn't there, I might've died. [link to "Hypnagogia . . ."]

Metro Manila was submerged in a 6-month worth of rainfall in just one day. It was flooded everywhere. The city was paralyzed. There were confusion, ruins and death tolls. Everyone was caught in Typhoon Ondoy's (Ketsana's) rage, massively in scale or otherwise. I am not going to go to the details as to how much damage this storm has caused. A lot of people already contributed to that.

Anyway, I wanted a perfect date with my boyfriend and we set a meet-up in Cubao at 9 AM. Unfortunately, the flood prevented him from getting there on time. I waited for an hour in our meeting place and I was (pissed off) just about ready to go home when he called and said he's stranded due to the flood. Still, the first part of our date went well. We kept ourselves warm.

Around 9 PM, we're supposed to have dinner in a famous fast food but we were surprised to find out that it's closed. A 24-hour store --- closed. When we looked around, the streets were empty. The usual city full of hustle and bustle was as quiet as the scene in I Am Legend. Only the MRT was operational and a handful of buses. Good thing my MRT ticket is still working. Dada and I went to his office to spend the night together.

Dada bought MiniStop meals for dinner since it's the only store open. I was hoping it would be a good night, but it didn't. Since Jasper (Dada's friend and co-worker) was unable to go to work, Dada had to fill in for him.

I was trying to talk to Dada but as soon as he sat on his station, his aura changed. I was asking him some things and he was stoic, either that or his replies were not related to what I was telling/asking him. It was weird so I got pissed off and proceeded to the conference room to listen to my fave music. He followed me there but, I dunno what happened, he walked out - looking pissed off too. He returned after a couple of minutes, handed his pillows and jacket to me, then left me there.

I was being hard-headed when I told myself "He thinks he's the only one who can act tough? I wasn't this fragile before he came to my life." I stashed my things, left his belongings in the conference room and headed to the exit. I was in front of the glass door when I stopped and turned around. I went to Dada's station and kissed him while I told him "I'm going..." then left their office. He followed me around but I acted like he's not there. I ignored him even though it hurts. I wanted to make him realize how a jerk he was for making me feel that way. I guess he didn't get it.

I rode a cab going to 24/7. When I got there, I met our OM in the elevator. He was smiling and thanked me for making it (even though I informed him and my TL that I would be absent). When I reached the floor, only 15 agents were there. Only my Team Leader and I were present on our team. We were given food as a "Thank you!" for making it despite the weather... and, despite the lack of manpower, the Workforce still added call volumes. The agents said there was a 40-minute avail. That went down to zero as soon as I logged in.

I sent Dada text messages while I was taking in calls.

Me: You are a jerk.
Dada: You went to the conference room without saying anything, and I am the jerk?
Me: I can't talk to you properly when you're in front of a computer.
Dada: I am working. I told you wala na game sa PSP. Ang natira is my RPG. Kaya sabi ko buksan mo na lang PC. Tapos bigla ka na lang nawala. Ayoko na ng away. I am tired and I lack sleep. Ikaw din. Usap na lang pag pareho na malamig ulo. Love u. Text you when I get home.

During my last call, I felt heavy palpitations and numbness in my chest. I went to the clinic during my break and the nurse had that weird look on her face. I thought she was thinking that I may be faking it but I was wrong. She had me rest for 20 minutes then she approached my TL. She observed my pulse rate and she said it's alarmingly increasing by the minute. She handed a letter to my TL and she advised me to be sent home ASAP.

After I logged out from my station, my TL gave me some tasks on how to update our stats since he will be on vacation starting tomorrow. He was curious as to what triggered my tension so I told him what happened.

TL: I trust you so I'm counting on you regarding updating these stats.
Me: I hate you.
TL: Whaaaaaaat?! I say I trust you and you say you hate me?
Me: I hate responsibilities.
*laughter*
TL: I know you can do this.
Me: Okay...
*silence*
TL: You know, you might've been a jerk too.
Me: WHAAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?
TL: Guys are absorbed by their routine and more often than not, don't want that routine cut off while they're at it. When they're doing a task, they will not stop unless they finish that task. If you disturb them, their train of thought gets busted.
Me: *silent and almost crying*
TL: You see... Guys are not good at guessing. You need to be vocal about what you feel.
Me: Thanks for the advice.

I left the office around 4 AM and had a brief chat with Dada around 6:30 AM when I got home. I was asking him if he wanted to talk over breakfast but he said he ran out of load and was not able to send me his reply. I told him "there's always a next time."

When he got home, he called me up and I can tell that he's still angry. Like always, I said "sorry" to him. I do mean it, but I still want to talk about it when we have more time.

**************************************************************************************

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

About two years ago, I had to wipe out all the contents of my computer due to a persistent virus that has been activated by my siblings. I failed to backup some of the things I needed and lost a lot of pertinent information in the process.

Another thing I lost was the ability to use my Canon ScanLide 25 [link], a scanner I bought together with my Genius G-Pen 450 wireless tablet [link]. I bought them as Christmas gifts for myself since I wanted to do more artworks as part of my leisure time. The driver cd for the scanner has been misplaced and we didn't  know who's responsible. Mom and I had a week-long fucked-up argument because of it as well (... and that's another fucked-up story I can't forget).

Anyway ... because of the argument and because I couldn't find a free driver download site for the scanner, I decided to completely stop using it. I slowly halted from submitting artworks on my DeviantART account too.

Fast forward to this date ...

Dan Paulo (my college buddy) asked me to design a coat for him because he plans on using it for a wedding (whose wedding, I no longer asked). I told him that it has been a year since I last held a pencil and that I've retired from designing clothes. I also told him the story behind the scanner as an excuse. He was very persistent, though.

We then had a deal or a challenge that if he gets me the driver I need for free, then I would say "yes" to him . . . Gosh, that was one of those somewhat regretful things I said. Hahaha! After a couple of minutes, he gave me a zip file containing what I needed! [link to full chat with Dan (for family & friends only)]

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

Last Monday (April 22, 2008), I lost my internet connection because of the rain. It's one of those days when I really go berserk (aside from when i call the security guards in our village). It's been THREE DAYS OF HELL calling their HOT-line. Actually, everytime I call them, I get frustrated.

***********************

Monday ... I called SmartBRO's Tech Support to report about my loss of internet connection.

Me : Don't ask me to troubleshoot. I know MUCH about troubleshooting. Check your base station first because I know it's your problem.

Agent1 : (upon checking their tools) Yes, ma'am. There's a problem with the base station in your area. Try reconnecting after an hour or so.

Me : Okay, get me to your Customer Care. I want rebates.

Agent1 : Ay ma'am call us back na lang po when your internet is back so we can apply for rebates. Right now po kasi hindi pa pwede.

Me : Okay...

***********************

Monday ... 6:30PM ... I called Customer Care because the internet is back up. It's been 3 hours of dead connection.

Me : I want rebates.

Agent2 : Okay ma'am. I will process the rebates now, expect that within 24 hours this will be addressed.

***********************

Tuesday .... no response from SmartBRO.

***********************

Wednesday ... 6AM ... I called Customer Care again to check the status.

Me : I want rebates.

Agent3 : Okay ma'am. I will process the rebates now, expect that within 24 hours this will be addressed.

Me : Wait wait ... That's what the previous rep told me... you're gonna process AGAIN?!?!

Agent3 : Ma'am wala po akong nakikitang report about this. Ngayon ginawan ko na po so expect after 24 hours may confirmation po about this. (#1)

Me : WHAT?!?!  Last time, I had 4 hours of no internet. You didn't give me rebates. Now, it's happening AGAIN!

Me : Get me your supervisor! (#2)

Agent3 : Ma'am our supervisor will tell you the same thing. (#3)

Me: I don't care. Let your supervisor tell me the same thing. I want to speak with him. NOW!

Agent3 : Ma'am nagawan ko na po ng  ... (repeat #1)

Me : You don't need to repeat what you just said. I understand what you said. (#4) (repeat#2)

Agent3 : Ma'am ... (repeat#1)

Me : Why don't you want me to speak with your sup?! Wala ka bang sup?

Agent3 : It's not that ma'am. (repeat#1)

Me : I told you ... (repeat#4)

Agent3 : ma'am... put on hold ko lang po kayo for 3-4 minutes to check on this ...

Agent3 : thank you for waiting, ma'am. (repeat#3) (repeat#1)

(basically we went over and over the same sentences for over 30 minutes)

Me : You are not helping me. What is your name? What is your employee ID? (repeat#2)

Agent3 : I can't give out those info but I am attending to your needs ma'am. (repeat#1)

Me : If you are attending to my needs, get your butt out from your chair and get me your sup. NOW!

Agent3 : (repeat#1)

Me: Pu*********** hindi mo ibibigay supervisor mo?

Agent3: Ma'am I will disconnect this call now.

Agent3 is an UNPROFESSIONAL BITCH! Butting in while I was still talking. She refused to get her supervisor ... My mom hears me having an argument on the phone but I was too mad to even think about it during that time. Agent3 dropped the call, basically. WTF, just coz I said P.I. once (which is her fault why I lost my cool anyways) she drops the phone? In the call center I work for, we give warnings first - three instances before we let go!!! Agent3 showed LOWER-THAN-POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!

A manager is only as good as his subordinates. If Agent3 is like that, I don't need to wonder what kind of asshole her supervisor would be.

*************************************************

Wednesday ... 6:35 AM ... I called SmartBRO back.

Me : I want rebates so get me your supervisor. (#5)

Agent4 : ma'am kunin ko lang po yung service reference number ninyo po.

Me : *thinking.. omigod! his voice is cute! but i gotta be firm* Didn't you hear me? (repeat#5)

Agent4 : yes, ma'am. pero kelangan po namin yung information para ma-pull up account ninyo.

(he convinced me to give info.. but he put me on hold several times i got irritated again. darn, he's got a cute voice ... if not for that, i'd go berserk again.)

Agent4 : na-process na po yung rebates ninyo, ma'am. it will take 15 days bago mag-reflect sa account.(#6)

Me : WHAT?!?! baket ngayon ko lang nalaman yan?! why didn't the previous rep tell me that?!?

Agent4 : (repeat#6)

Me : I want this addressed immediately. I also have other concerns and I know you can't help me... I don't want to take it out on you... but I don't want to hear your voice anymore. Get me your supervisor!

Agent4 got his supervisor after ANOTHER 30 minutes of trying to pacify me. HAH! i will never give in to their fuckin de-escalating process. I work in a call center so I know all these stuff. I told the supervisor to update me or my mom on the status of the rebate. I also commanded him to make a feedback about Agent3. I dunno if he's gonna process it though. Anyway, I already did damage to Agent3 by calling back.

Even if it's just two hours, that's still a big loss for me because the internet is my stress-reliever. So I WILL get stressed without it. XD

Ahh ... I recently got agitated when I read an online buddy's thought about him being dubbed as a "photo-stealer."

Of course, he must've felt angry when he was called a thief ... but judging from what I saw, I'd also call him one.

he said ...

"Now photographers say that they are “possessive” of their photos, OK, no problem with that, but do know that once you put them photos at the internet, it is now accessible and downloadable to EVERYONE around the world. Don’t be like the eldest brother in the story. Label your photos, and label them well. And to some lazy photographers, if you really are possessive of your photos you will do that. And if you don’t like people in the net using your photos, don’t put them on the net then."

He was referring to his analogy of the "eldest bro leaves bread on the table then youngest bro eats it ; none of the brothers confessed, thus leaving the eldest angry" thing.

Granted that all photos published on the internet are "up for grabs" but at least show a little appreciation to whoever you got the photo from.

Lack of ethics.

What he did was edit the photo, put in the model's name, his website URL and that's it. No credits to the photographer. He put a hyperlink to the source of the photo on his blog entry but I don't think that's enough. I mean, he managed to edit the picture that far, so why didn't he bother including the URL where he got the photo from? If the URL is too long, why not simply put "Photo source : < insert photog's name or website title >" or something like that. What if another person grabs the photo from his blog entry and didn't bother clicking the hyperlink? After a while, that person will forget where he downloaded it.

I'm gonna repeat a part of my comment on his outburst ...

"Not all photographers know watermarking techniques. not all of these photographers use digital cameras or photo-editing softwares. A simple credit or recognition is the only 'payment' we give to these awesome photographers. Without them, we will have minimal or no photos at all to post in our websites."

I didn't bother replying to him anymore when he said that he did put credits by adding the hyperlink because it might start a flame war.

... but I hope everyone will get my point.

    I went to the office with my fists clenched and my eyebrows crinkled ... I dropped my bag on my cubicle and then I looked at my officemate who's right across me ... I asked "What is it with men?! Why are you so louring?!" I then headed to to the locker area and took my headset and reading materials...I returned to my station and pulled up my tools. He placed his hands on the cubicle divider, laughed at me and he said he doesn't even know the meaning of that word.

    I was holding back my tears as I explained to my officemates why I feel so bad today... I told them that it's crazy... I'm jaundiced... not with a person but rather to an electronic device that can process data and grant access to the world wide web, otherwise known as a computer. The lady sitting beside me told me that I shouldn't make a fuss out of an inanimate object and I should let people enjoy the things they have.

    Well, I AM!

    But the thing is, I really hate it when I don't get full attention when I need it. I get really cranky when the person I am talking to is not listening to me and is doing something else albeit I am speaking to him/her directly. Tapos siya pa may gana bigyan ako ng cold shoulder kapag sinabi ko yung hinanakit ko?!

     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

    I've tried being nice again even though I got hurt ... but I can't stand the coldness. That's just too much for me to bear!

    I've had enough ...

    My mom, my siblings and I went to SM-Fairview and had lunch in Jollibee. It was cramped with people and all of them are assholes, sitting on the chairs I reserved for my family whenever they get the chance. One guy even got angry at us because we placed the trays on the table next to where he's sitting and I told him, "You steal our place and you made my sisters move to the dirty table. I'm just transferring the trash that's supposed to be yours. Ya gotta problem with that, buddy?" I didn't plan on acting bitchy in front of my sisters but when I get irritated, I bite. He didn't complain anymore and his wife just called one of the crew members to remove the dirty trays. That's what I hate about people ... they do something bad to you and when you try to get even, they freak out.

    I hurried to the FX terminal and headed to SM-Megamall after we had lunch. I felt so ashamed making my boyfriend wait for me  for two long hours... but I was so hungry and that was the only time I get to spend lunch with my family so... *sniff* I told him I am sorry and I hugged him tight as we headed to the movie house. We got tickets for the Transformers movie. Since the next showing will be at 4:50PM, I asked Dada to come with me to the department store and buy some clothes first. I bought two blouses, one of which was hand-picked by Dada himself, and I love it! It's been a while since I last went shopping. ^__^

    So what can I say about the Transformers? Hmmm ... I did watch the cartoons (even Beast Wars) but I'm not a fan so I didn't understand what each of the robot's role is. All I know is, the story is kinda cheesy but not as cheesy as Spiderman 3, with a few funny moments - thanks to Bumblebee, cinematography is so-so... NAKAKAHILO! Starscream looks like an Evangelion unit. Mecha all over the place - rolling, flying, swinging from one building to another as if they're just monkey bars... and yet Sam Witwicky's parents didn't notice 'em in their backyard! They're so oblivious! It's IMPOSSIBLE!!! The special effects are cool, though! Ah, I didn't know that Linkin Park's song "Make A Move" was part of the film's OST too.

I give it :

    After the movie, Dada and I bought elastic strings that we'll use to repair our bracelets. Then, we had dinner in Komoro Soba around 8:30 PM already. Then, we had a little chit-chat again about how we're gonna manage our time if ever our schedules do not match. I told him I'm just worried about us not seeing each other, and I told him I don't want another virtual-relationship and I don't want things to end like what happened to my previous one. He was thinking that maybe I'm worried bcause he might meet another girl and I said "no" because I already know that he's faithful (even though he likes to make me jealous from time to time).... Bah, pessimism really drains my spirit... I'll try not to think negatively anymore. I'll believe in his motto "Kapag gusto, maraming paraan ... Kapag ayaw, maraming dahilan."

This is a post-birthday outbirk ... and quite a shallow one...

In one forum I am subscribed in, there's a thread about "Evolution of Man" and of course, it asks about opinions as to if you either believe on the Theory of Evolution or God's Powers.

link to the thread here

The thing is, there's this uberly acting-know-it-all girl who replied after my post and it was soooo obvious that she was directing it to ME. I told her that it's not my problem is she doesn't dig my opinion and she said I made it my problem to outbirk! Fuck, it's obvious she started it!

I mean, whaddahell is it with people? Why don't they learn to respect the opinion of others?

Don't they know they can't force everyone to believe to what they believe in?

It's ludicrous!!!

    I left home around 2:30 PM, an hour earlier than my routine. I wanted to pass by SM Fairview because I plan to buy a new digicam that I can use for my proceeding hobby.

    I rode an FX so that I'd get there in less than 10 minutes, but I guess my calculation was wrong. The damn driver stopped by the terminal that's just a few meters away from SM so he can get something (I dunno what that was). I wanted to run towards the SM entrance but to do that, I had to cross the busy highway! So, I waited for about 3 minutes until he returned.

    Upon reaching SM, I headed to a shop (I forgot the name) where they're selling the Sony Cybnershot dsc-w55 for 20k. I was sooooo tempted to buy it already and I didn't hesitate as I told the lady, "Sige, ate. Kunin ko na 'yan." I was about to pay it when the cashier told me that they can't process it because they don't support my ATM card. So, I had no choice but to withdraw money. Golly, I was so scared bringing out that much moolah in public!

    I reached the 1st BDO ATM in less than a minute, but there were a lot of people ahead of me. When there're only about two people left, all of a sudden the ATM stopped dispensing money! I was in panic as I looked for another ATM. The second one I found also ran out of cash so I moved to the third. Upon reaching the 3rd ATM, I suddenly received an error message "Exceeded maximum number of attempts" and apparently I was entering a wrong PIN code! I forgot that the PIN for my savings account is different from my payroll account! ~__~ ;;;;

    I left the mall empty-handed and I found myself staring blankly into space, wishing I could turn back time even for just a bit.

    So there...

    Either an omen tells me that what I found was not a good deal...

    ... or I was just too stupid.

    ~___~